Reflections on Thanksgiving and combating Anti-semitism from the Right and the Left

There was a moment during Thanksgiving dinner, when I had an interesting thought. We were passing around the turkey/stuffing/cranberry sauce and all of the required “minhagim” (customs)! I thought that Thanksgiving dinner was like a Yom Tov (festival) meal! The only difference is that this was one that we were doing with the rest of America; Jews and non Jews. Normally, when we as Jews celebrate holidays, we are going against the grain. We are shopping crazy for Pesach and for it is just a regular Tuesday for non-jews. They shop for costumes before Halloween and we shop the day after Halloween so we can get 50% off and save it for Purim! We experience the awe of Yom Kippur and for them it's a regular workday. Etc Etc.

But on Thanksgiving, we all are grateful and celebrate together. We eat the same food, watch the same football game and have the same curmudgeonly uncle who wants to talk politics as much as we try to keep it out!

So on Thanksgiving, I feel very much part of America. I always feel very accepted.

And then I think about Pittsburgh. And then I think about the string of anti-semitic attacks in shuls in Brooklyn these past few weeks. And then I remember the ADL stats about rising and unprecedented acts of anti-semitism.

I feel these two conflicting thoughts. On the one hand, as Jews, we have probably never been more accepted and part of a society. On the other hand, Anti-semitism (from the Right and the Left) is all around us.

Does the Torah give us any insight in how to deal with Anti-semitism?

Well, it just so happens that in our Parshah we have the classic text.

After many years, Yaakov return to the Land of Israel and he is about to confront his brother Esav who (Yaakov believes) wants to kill him. Esav has 400 men with him. The verse says that Esav “Runs to meet him.” Now if you are Yaakov, you are thinking, ‘this is the end for me.” But instead, Esav “hugs him, kisses him, falls on his shoulder and they weep.”  

It is a heart-warming scene. After all of the years of hatred and threats, reconciliation is possible. Love wins over hate.

But there is a whole school of Midrashim that is not so ready to accept that Esav has changed, that he now loves his brother.

You see, there are dots over the word, וישקהו (and He Kissed him). They understand this to mean that the Kiss is compromised in some way. One Midrash goes so far as to say that when Esav went in for the “kiss”, his plan was to bite Yaakov’s neck and kill him. But, miraculously, Yaakov’s neck turned into marble! When the text then says that they cried, this was not tears of an emotional embrace but instead Yaakov was crying because his neck turned into marble and Esav cried because his teeth fell out!

A different Midrash quotes the famous statement of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai: הלכה בידוע שעשיו שונא ליעקב - It is a well know Halacha that Esav hates Yaakov. It means that even when Esav (or generically all non-jews as it has come to be understood) shows love, we always must be suspicious. They still have hate for us which could come out at any moment.  

This was an idea that was very present in my life when I grew up. It was used in the following way. Suppose I would share with other Jews that a non-jewish person just moved in next door. If I would say that they are a really nice family and we have become friends. Maybe one of their children has become friends with ours. The response would be “Esav Soneh L’Yaakov - remember there is always hate. Be careful.”

This is only one perspective. If you look at Ibn Ezra, Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsch, Haamek Davar and others, they all explain that Esav’s kiss was genuine. People can change. Groups that at once were anti-semitic can evolve over time. But the idea of Esav Hates Yaakov has had a very deep place in our consciousness especially in light of thousands of years of persecution.

There are two fascinating Responsa on this topic from the 1960’s and 70’s that I would like to share with you. The first from Rabbi Moshe Feinstein and the second from Rabbi Yosef Eliyahu Henkin.

First, from Rabbi Feinstein (Igros Moshe Choshen Mishpat 2 #77). The year was 1977. The question actually came from England. We only see his answer so we sort of have to figure out the question. The question is something like this. Jewish schools in England are apparently funded by the government. One Jewish school believed that it was not getting all the funding it deserved under the law. They had appealed to the British government unsuccessfully. For some (unexplained) reason, the school was able to sue the British government in another country to get them to provide the desired funding. Rav Moshe Feinstein was asked if the school should do this. He answered that they should definitely not do this because this could provoke British non jews against the Jews and cause great harm. Even if they (the non-jews) seem to be nice, we always have to remember that Esav hates Yaakov. Rabbi Feinstein concludes by explaining why the statement refers to anti-semitism as a “well known Halacha.” This is not a typical jewish law. He explains that it means that just as Jewish Law will never change (it is eternal) so too will the hate against jews never change. Even those who appear to be kind to jews, really have a hatred inside.

Rav Moshe’s responsum feels very similar to ideas that I heard as a child.

On the other hand, there is a fascinating responsum (really more of an essay) from Rav Henkin (Teshuvos Ivra #116) from 1968. The topic is anti-semitism and its causes. I will quote directly:

“The Preachers and Babblers are commiting a great sin when they always say “That it is a well know Halacha that Esav hates Yaakov, and that this hate is eternal. This is against Truth and against Rabbinic and Torah teachings. For Esav himself was not evil forever...As Ben Zoma taught: “Who is honored, the one who honors others.” This also refers to non-jews. When we honor them and say you are my friend, they become friends through this. And conversely, when we say “you hate us (you are an anti-semite), they become haters (anti-semites). We see this every day….”

This is my take away from Rabbi Feinstein and Rabbi Henkin. We need both. We need people to be vigilant and always worried about finding anti-semitism. But we also need people finding and pointing out love of Jews.

Thank G-d in our community, we have many people who find anti-semitism. What I mean by that is that jews on the Right are very good at finding every possible instance of anti-semitism on the Left and Jews on the Left are very good at finding every possible instance of anti-semitism on the Right! We find anti-semitism when it is explicit. We find it when it is hiding under a rock or when one time someone took a picture with someone else who is anti-semitic (don’t worry, there are examples of this on both Right and Left). Thank G-d we have organizations (again both on the Right and Left) dedicated to sniffing this stuff out and I am grateful for their work in keeping us safe.

But here is my worry. We are not doing enough of the Rabbi Henkin approach. We are not spending enough time finding instances of Love. And when Non-jews do reach out (with love and support) to us, we are so quick to question their motives or who they are or who they were once friends with (again, I see this happening on both the Right and the Left).

Of course, we cannot be naive. We must be vigilant. But we also have to learn to accept Love. As Rabbi Henkin says, people can change. And sometimes the way we can enhance philosemitism, is by embracing those who try to support us. And unfortunately, screaming “anti-semite” so loud all of the time and finding it under every rock might lead to more anti-semitism. Even when we have to be vigilant against anti-semitism, I wonder if there is better way to do it.

So we have Rav Moshe and Rav Henkin. Rav Moshe reminds us to be vigilant. Rav Henkin reminds us to not be over vigilant. It is a tough balance. But nobody ever said life is easy! I pray that the lessons of both great rabbis guide us with the very challenging issue of anti-semitism and philo-semitism in the 21st century!