Sunday, October 26, 2014

Parshat Noach and the Sins Committed at the DC Mikveh

This past week, the Greater Washington community has been dealing with the outcome of a terrible crime that was committed in Georgetown. Rabbi Barry Freundel, the rabbi of the synagogue, (allegedly) committed awful acts of electronic voyeurism in the mikveh. The initial evidence is damning and is becoming worse every day. Many members of our shul previously were congregants of the accused and have been greatly impacted by the events. I have been struggling with how to respond and I think that this week’s parshah, Parshat Noach, can help us at least begin to discuss this topic.  
Upon leaving the Ark, G-d utters one of the most dramatic and surprising commandments in all of the Torah:
פרו ורבו ומלאו את הארץ
procreate and multiply and fill the Earth.
Why is this so dramatic? Isn't this pretty standard fare for the Bible? Well the truth of the matter is that this is not the first time we hear this command. When did we hear it first? Back with Adam and Eve.
On the 6th day after creation the Posuk says
וירא אלקים את כל אשר עשה והנה טוב מאד
“G-d saw everything he had made and it was very good.” The plants, the animals, the rivers, mountains, and valley; everything was beautiful. Now Adam and Eve were asked to procreate. To go out and do good, to create and to achieve. “Everything was good.”


But in between the two commands to procreate, much negativity takes place. First, Adam and Eve sin with the Tree of Knowledge. Then we have the first murder as Cain kills his brother Abel. Things go from bad to worse until G-d decides to bring the flood and destroy the world.


Well what was the terrible sin that finally convinced G-d to destroy the world?
The Torah at the end of last week’s parshah tells us the sin.
ויראו בני אלהים את בנות האדם כי טבת הנה. ויקחו להם נשים מכל אשר בחרו.
The sons of Elohim (we will translate this word in a second) saw the daughters of people that they were good (or beautiful). They (the sons of Elohim) took whichever women they wanted.


Who were the sons of Elohim. Rashi says that Elohim means judges and princes, meaning the powerful men. In other words, men who were in position of power abused their power and authority and took advantage of women who were vulnerable. Ibn Ezra says that these were people who upheld the “Mishpat Elohim” or divine law. The judges or those who upheld divine law, the Dayyanim and members of the Bet din were the abusers. They took women who they chose without consent. Nachmanides makes it even more damning.
הדיינים, אשר להם לעשות המשפט, בניהם עושים החמס בגלוי ואין מונע אתם.
The judges, those who we turn to for justice, those who we trusted, they and their children committed acts of violence and theft in the open and those who should have stopped it and did not (loose translation).


And how does G-d respond. G-d says
אמחה את האדם אשר בראתי
I am going to destroy humanity which I have created.
I recently saw  the Darren Aronofsky movie “Noah.” One of the themes of the movie was that G-d’s original plan (at least as Noah understood it) was to destroy all of humanity forever. Noah and his family were supposed to save the animals. After the flood, the animals would survive but Noah and his family would die. The world would revert to the 6th day of creation before Adam and Eve. It would be a world of plants and animals and rivers, lakes, mountains, valleys. A pristine and pure world without humans to mess it up. There is a actually a midrash that somewhat supports this reading. The midrash juxtaposes אמחה את האדם….ונח - “I will destroy humanity and Noah with it…”


But then what happens. At some point during the flood, G-d remembers Noach and the Brit (covenant). G-d remembers why he created the world to begin with. G-d remembers all of the potential for good. I dont think G-d will ever say again that “he saw everything that he created and it was very good.” It is simply not true. There is murder, sexual abuse, theft, crime. There are people who are in power who take advantage of the vulnerable. But even if not everything is good, there is still so much good and so much potential.


And this leads me to the verse that I opened with. After the flood, G-d’s first command to Noah is the same as he commanded Adam and Eve. Procreate, Multiply achieve wonderful things in this world. Not because everything is good. There will still be bad. In fact, the verse preceding the command to procreate discusses the laws of murder. But still go out and fill the world. We must learn from our mistakes, we must change and then we must continue as before.


The crimes that we have been learned about in the last 10 days have completely sullied some of the most beautiful aspects of judaism. The Mikveh, the conversion process, trust in leadership and rabbis who have taught amazing Torah.
Our job is now threefold

First we must do everything we can to support the victims. Of course the primary concern is for those who directly were the victims of voyeurism and then we must also support all users of the mikveh and all converts and congregants of the accused.

Second, we must make change. I have heard it said that we as rabbis have to do more to protect the female converts. This is not the correct approach. We dont need more men protecting women. We need women to be empowered in our community. We need to give the Keys of the Mikveh to the women (see here). We need to do a better job at regulating the rabbinate - I say this as a pulpit rabbi (see here). We also must figure out a way to greatly expand women’s spiritual leadership in our schools and shuls. In fact, I should not be the one giving this speech. We should have a professional female spiritual leader at Beth Sholom who should be offering her reflections on the past 10 days and how we should move forward. There are many wonderful programs that train orthodox women to be spiritual leaders ranging from Yeshivat Maharat to Rabbi Riskin’s program in Israel, the Yoatzot Halacha, Stern/YU GPATS. While Beth Sholom had a Maharat Intern last year, this is not enough. We must look to the above programs to find strong female spiritual leadership at Beth Sholom. And finally, we must do a better job following the laws of Yichud (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yichud). Male rabbis (and really all males) should not be meeting women alone at night in the shul office or other private places. This will protect the women and the rabbis. It is amazing that if we only followed our ancient traditional laws, many of our problems would be averted. One challenge of the laws of Yichud, especially as applied to rabbis and congregants, is that female congregants might not have as much access to their rabbis for pastoral and spiritual counseling. To remedy this, see my comment above about the necessity to have female spiritual leadership in shuls.


Third - After we have supported the victims and after we have made the necessary changes that allowed this to happen in the first place, we must remember the first command after the flood. We must continue building and strengthening our Jewish community and Mitzva Observance. We must learn to trust (with necessary safeguards) again our spiritual leadership (male and female) and we have to reclaim all that is good in Orthodoxy, Mitzvoth and Judaism. We will do this not because there is no bad but because there is so much good.


May Hashem give strength to the victims and may we all have the courage to learn from our mistakes and create a better future for all of us.   


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Yom Kippur Sermon 5775 - Do Jews Really Have Long Noses!?

I am going to begin with a question that you probably did not expect to be asked on the holiest day of the year. The question is:
Do Jews really have long noses?
The theory that Jews have long noses has been a truism not only of non jewish anti semites but even of Jews.
This is related to something called Jewdar. Anyone here know what Jewdar is?
Jewdar is Jewish Radar, instant ability to know that someone you have met or just see is Jewish. Jews of my parents generation (they are in their 70’s) have very strong Jewdar.  Whenever I am walking in the street with my mom, my mom will say “that person is jewish, that person is jewish.” I will ask her, “mom, how do you know he is jewish you have not even said a word to him?” She says, “I just know, he has the jewish look.” What is the Jewish look?
People who have strong Jewdar will say there are signs….; short, curly hair, long nose.
But Is it true? Do Jews really have long noses?
The good news is (and perhaps bad news for anti-semites) that Jews dont really have long noses or at least longer noses than other people from their native environments.
The idea came from pseudo scientific theories of eugenics and it was made popular by antisemitic cartoonists in the 19th century.  
It turns out that the greatest beneficiary of this myth has been the the plastic surgery industry….

But even though Jews dont really have long noses, the concept of the “long nose” is actually very present in the Yom Kippur Davening.

Many times throughout Yom Kippur we recite the 13 Divine Attributes of Mercy. Hashem, Hashem, Kel Rachum, Vechanun, Erech Apaim….
We say, “Hashem, you are the master of Kindness and forgiveness so please forgive us this year on Yom Kippur for all of our sins.” But what do the actual words mean.
“Rachum” - Compassion
“Chanun” - Grace
These things make sense. What about the next term?
“Erech Apaim” - the common translation is “slow to anger.” But if you translate it literally….”Erech” means long (as in Arichus Yamim - Long Life) and “Apaim” or “Af” means “nose.” = Long Nose. In other words, we are saying, “G-d you are so wonderful. You are compassionate, full of grace and….You have a Big Nose!!!! I guess this is how we know G-d is Jewish!
In all seriousness, why are we saying that G-d has a long nose and what does that have to do with Forgiveness and Yom Kippur?
In order to understand this we have to go back to the sin of the Golden Calf and the beginning of Jewish History when G-d defined his relationship with the Jewish People.
We all know the story. Moshe goes up on the mountain for 40 days. Delays in coming back. The people freak out and form the golden calf. I am not going to try to explain the sin but for now let us just accept that it was a big sin. G-d feels like the jewish people have not been faithful. Remember that in the Bible, the relationship between G-d and the people is compared to a husband a wife. Idolatry is therefore adultery. The sin of the Golden Calf was essentially the Jewish People having an affair. How does G-d respond?

G-d says to Moshe (Exodus 32:7) “Go see what your people have done...They have served the Golden Calf…(verse 10) - And Now leave me (i.e. let me do my wish…) Let my anger flare up at them and I will annihilate them. And I shall make you a great nation.”

This is heavy stuff...G-d almost commits genocide against the jewish people….
But lets take a close look at the Hebrew. What is the Hebrew for “flaring up anger”? ויחר אפי (Vayichar Api). That same word is here. Api = Af = Nose. G-d was literally telling Moshe, “Let me do what I want with them. Let me nostrils flare up and destroy them.

If you have ever looked at someone when they are angry, their nostrils flare up and if they are a dragon, fire comes out and destroys. That is what G-d says. My nostrils will flare and I will destroy. Punishment will be  swift and harsh. No possibility of teshuva. No possibility of reconciliation.

So how does Moshe respond.
verse 11 - “Moshe pleads to Hashem… למה יחרה אפך בעמך - why should your nose flare up against your people. Which people? “That you took out of Egypt with great power and strong hand.” You have already invested so much in this relationship. They have invested so much. It was just one mistake (although a huge one)....
שוב מחרון אפך והנחם על הרעה לעמך - “Relent from your flaring nostrils (I know it sounds funny!) and change your mind regarding the evil you planned to do to your people.”

Moshe begs Hashem…”This flaring nostril thing isnt going to work. Swift and harsh punishment might be just but we are just people. We make mistakes. We are your people. Please stop with the flaring nostril thing.

How does the story end? Moshe ends up breaking the first set of tablets. He carves out the second tablets. Ascends the mountain and Hashem teaches him the 13 attributes of mercy. Hashem, Hashem Kel Rachum Vechanun erech apaim…..
Hashem tells Moshe, “You are correct. I will now be the G-d of compassion, grace and Long Nose! My nose will no longer flare when the jews sin. I will have a long nose. There will be a long distance between the anger I am feeling until it flares. There will be time for Teshuva. There will be time for me to reconsider. Perhaps the relationship is more important than the transgression.  There will be flexibility and patience.

This same thing happens with the second major sin in the desert. The sin of the spies (Bamidbar chapter 14). G-d tells the people to go into the land of israel. It is a land flowing with milk and honey. g-d says, “trust me.” The people dont trust. They send in spies who return with a bad report. The people panic and say lets go back to Egypt.
G-d says, “How long will they not have faith in me….I will smite them with the plague and annihilate them.” Sound familiar?  
Moshe says (verse 17), Hashem, remember that you have  “erech apaim, Verav chesed, noseh avon upeshah.”
You already told us that you are a Long Nosed G-d. full of kindness, forgiver of sin.
סלח נא לעון העם הזה כגדל חסדך וכאשר נשאתה לעם הזה ממצרים ועד הנה…
Please forgive this people in accordance with your great kindness as you have forgiven this people from Egypt until now.”
In other words, Moshe says, “G-d, we have been here before. You promised me that you would have a Long Nose. Please forgive the people again.”
How does it end. ויאמר ה’ סלחתי כדברך. - “G-d says, I have forgiven because of your words.”

These are the stories of Yom Kippur. The narratives behind Rosh Hashana are the great women - Sarah, Rachel, Chanah - all of them who struggled and who were finally remembered on Rosh Hashana. Well the narrative of Yom Kippur is the Golden calf, the sin of the spies. Sin, unfaithfulness, lack of trust. But instead of Hashem getting angry - Justice which is swift and harsh. Hashem has a long nose. He is patient. forgiving and flexible.

At this point you might be saying to yourself, “if Rabbi Antine is correct, and G-d has a long nose, is flexible, patient and forgiving, then why do I have to be here for the next 25 hours. Let us let the chazan take the place of Moshe, G-d will forgive and I will go home and watch the game!

The answer is we have to become worthy of G-d’s patience, flexibility and forgiveness. How do we do this? Let me demonstrate with one of my favorite stories from the Talmud.

The Gemara (Taanis 25b) tells the story of a drought. There was no rain. The economy was going to collapse. They made a public fast day. The greatest rabbi of the generation, Rabbi Eliezer gets up to pray. He prays the special 24 blessings of a rain-fast with great Kavvana and devotion. No rain. It doesnt help.
Then Rabbi Akiva gets up and says two lines. Avinu Malkeinu (Our father our King), we have no king but you. Please have compassion for your sake.
They look up and it starts raining!
The people start murmuring. Can it be that Rabbi Akiva is greater than Rabbi Eliezer. Is he more learned? Is he more pious? Maybe he deserves to be the leader of the generation?
At that point, A heavenly voice calls out: “This was not the result of this one (Rabbi Akiva) being greater than that one (Rabbi Eliezer). Rather it was because this one (Rabbi Akiva) overlooks his hurt and this one (Rabbi Eliezer) does not.” Rabbi Akiva is patient. When people hurt him (intentionally or unintentionally), he is patient. He is flexible. He forgives. Rabbi Eliezer does not.

Friends: This gemara is the answer. If we want Hashem to be “Erech Apaim” Long Nosed, if we want Hashem to forgive us to be patient with us, to grant us life and health, we only have to do one thing. It is not about our piety. It is not about our learning or anything else. All we have to do is be flexible, forgiving and patient. If we are flexible, forgiving and patient with others than G-d will be flexible forgiving and patient with us.

What is the Hebrew word for Patience? Savlanut. What does the root word sabal mean? Carrier or porter. To be patient means to be able to carry or hold onto the hurt and not throw it back in a harmful way that we will regret later on.

In addition to being patient with others, we also must learn to be patient with ourselves. Often times we find ourselves in situations that we cannot control and some of our greatest pain comes from having expectations of others that they act in ways that we expect them to act right now. We must be patient. I know this might sound pessimistic but we must lower expectations of others. We must be patient with them and with ourselves.

Allow me to conclude with a story about someone that I know from Cleveland. This person had a very difficult relationship with his teenage daughters. They pushed him out of their life. They came to believe things about him that were completely not true. They said and did many hurtful things but the father always returned hurt with love and did whatever he could to remain in their lives.
One time I asked him how it was possible to deal with the pain and then return with love?
He would say two words, “Expectations and Patience.” First I cannot have expectations that other people will do what I think they should do. They have their own things that they are dealing with and their own hurt and pain. Second is patience. Things are difficult now and they might be for a year, 5 years or even 15 years, but I have to have patience. Things will change.
Fastforward 15 years. His kids are adults and are now married with kids of their own. I recently saw this person in a park in  Cleveland enjoying a day with his daughters and playing with his grandchildren.
On the one hand, the scene was completely ordinary; a grandfather playing with his grandchildren at the park. On the other hand, it was totally extraordinary as I knew that things could have been much different. If the dad would not have had patience. If he would not have been able to hold the pain, the story could have ended very differently. Unfortunately, I know too many people who dont talk to their parents.
So much of life is about patience. It is about erech apaim. It is about knowing the story is not over tomorrow or the next day or even in 5 or 10 years.
So I started with a funny question that I think has a very serious answer. Do Jews really have long noses. The answer is that G-d has a long nose and we should imitate G-d.

I want to bless everyone with a year of patience, a year of forgiveness and a year of reconciliation and peace in our families, for the Jewish people and for all inhabitants of this world.