I am going to begin with a question that you probably did not expect to be asked on the holiest day of the year. The question is:
Do Jews really have long noses?
The theory that Jews have long noses has been a truism not only of non jewish anti semites but even of Jews.
This is related to something called Jewdar. Anyone here know what Jewdar is?
Jewdar is Jewish Radar, instant ability to know that someone you have met or just see is Jewish. Jews of my parents generation (they are in their 70’s) have very strong Jewdar. Whenever I am walking in the street with my mom, my mom will say “that person is jewish, that person is jewish.” I will ask her, “mom, how do you know he is jewish you have not even said a word to him?” She says, “I just know, he has the jewish look.” What is the Jewish look?
People who have strong Jewdar will say there are signs….; short, curly hair, long nose.
But Is it true? Do Jews really have long noses?
The good news is (and perhaps bad news for anti-semites) that Jews dont really have long noses or at least longer noses than other people from their native environments.
The idea came from pseudo scientific theories of eugenics and it was made popular by antisemitic cartoonists in the 19th century.
It turns out that the greatest beneficiary of this myth has been the the plastic surgery industry….
But even though Jews dont really have long noses, the concept of the “long nose” is actually very present in the Yom Kippur Davening.
Many times throughout Yom Kippur we recite the 13 Divine Attributes of Mercy. Hashem, Hashem, Kel Rachum, Vechanun, Erech Apaim….
We say, “Hashem, you are the master of Kindness and forgiveness so please forgive us this year on Yom Kippur for all of our sins.” But what do the actual words mean.
“Rachum” - Compassion
“Chanun” - Grace
These things make sense. What about the next term?
“Erech Apaim” - the common translation is “slow to anger.” But if you translate it literally….”Erech” means long (as in Arichus Yamim - Long Life) and “Apaim” or “Af” means “nose.” = Long Nose. In other words, we are saying, “G-d you are so wonderful. You are compassionate, full of grace and….You have a Big Nose!!!! I guess this is how we know G-d is Jewish!
In all seriousness, why are we saying that G-d has a long nose and what does that have to do with Forgiveness and Yom Kippur?
In order to understand this we have to go back to the sin of the Golden Calf and the beginning of Jewish History when G-d defined his relationship with the Jewish People.
We all know the story. Moshe goes up on the mountain for 40 days. Delays in coming back. The people freak out and form the golden calf. I am not going to try to explain the sin but for now let us just accept that it was a big sin. G-d feels like the jewish people have not been faithful. Remember that in the Bible, the relationship between G-d and the people is compared to a husband a wife. Idolatry is therefore adultery. The sin of the Golden Calf was essentially the Jewish People having an affair. How does G-d respond?
G-d says to Moshe (Exodus 32:7) “Go see what your people have done...They have served the Golden Calf…(verse 10) - And Now leave me (i.e. let me do my wish…) Let my anger flare up at them and I will annihilate them. And I shall make you a great nation.”
This is heavy stuff...G-d almost commits genocide against the jewish people….
But lets take a close look at the Hebrew. What is the Hebrew for “flaring up anger”? ויחר אפי (Vayichar Api). That same word is here. Api = Af = Nose. G-d was literally telling Moshe, “Let me do what I want with them. Let me nostrils flare up and destroy them.
If you have ever looked at someone when they are angry, their nostrils flare up and if they are a dragon, fire comes out and destroys. That is what G-d says. My nostrils will flare and I will destroy. Punishment will be swift and harsh. No possibility of teshuva. No possibility of reconciliation.
So how does Moshe respond.
verse 11 - “Moshe pleads to Hashem… למה יחרה אפך בעמך - why should your nose flare up against your people. Which people? “That you took out of Egypt with great power and strong hand.” You have already invested so much in this relationship. They have invested so much. It was just one mistake (although a huge one)....
שוב מחרון אפך והנחם על הרעה לעמך - “Relent from your flaring nostrils (I know it sounds funny!) and change your mind regarding the evil you planned to do to your people.”
Moshe begs Hashem…”This flaring nostril thing isnt going to work. Swift and harsh punishment might be just but we are just people. We make mistakes. We are your people. Please stop with the flaring nostril thing.
How does the story end? Moshe ends up breaking the first set of tablets. He carves out the second tablets. Ascends the mountain and Hashem teaches him the 13 attributes of mercy. Hashem, Hashem Kel Rachum Vechanun erech apaim…..
Hashem tells Moshe, “You are correct. I will now be the G-d of compassion, grace and Long Nose! My nose will no longer flare when the jews sin. I will have a long nose. There will be a long distance between the anger I am feeling until it flares. There will be time for Teshuva. There will be time for me to reconsider. Perhaps the relationship is more important than the transgression. There will be flexibility and patience.
This same thing happens with the second major sin in the desert. The sin of the spies (Bamidbar chapter 14). G-d tells the people to go into the land of israel. It is a land flowing with milk and honey. g-d says, “trust me.” The people dont trust. They send in spies who return with a bad report. The people panic and say lets go back to Egypt.
G-d says, “How long will they not have faith in me….I will smite them with the plague and annihilate them.” Sound familiar?
Moshe says (verse 17), Hashem, remember that you have “erech apaim, Verav chesed, noseh avon upeshah.”
You already told us that you are a Long Nosed G-d. full of kindness, forgiver of sin.
סלח נא לעון העם הזה כגדל חסדך וכאשר נשאתה לעם הזה ממצרים ועד הנה…
Please forgive this people in accordance with your great kindness as you have forgiven this people from Egypt until now.”
In other words, Moshe says, “G-d, we have been here before. You promised me that you would have a Long Nose. Please forgive the people again.”
How does it end. ויאמר ה’ סלחתי כדברך. - “G-d says, I have forgiven because of your words.”
These are the stories of Yom Kippur. The narratives behind Rosh Hashana are the great women - Sarah, Rachel, Chanah - all of them who struggled and who were finally remembered on Rosh Hashana. Well the narrative of Yom Kippur is the Golden calf, the sin of the spies. Sin, unfaithfulness, lack of trust. But instead of Hashem getting angry - Justice which is swift and harsh. Hashem has a long nose. He is patient. forgiving and flexible.
At this point you might be saying to yourself, “if Rabbi Antine is correct, and G-d has a long nose, is flexible, patient and forgiving, then why do I have to be here for the next 25 hours. Let us let the chazan take the place of Moshe, G-d will forgive and I will go home and watch the game!
The answer is we have to become worthy of G-d’s patience, flexibility and forgiveness. How do we do this? Let me demonstrate with one of my favorite stories from the Talmud.
The Gemara (Taanis 25b) tells the story of a drought. There was no rain. The economy was going to collapse. They made a public fast day. The greatest rabbi of the generation, Rabbi Eliezer gets up to pray. He prays the special 24 blessings of a rain-fast with great Kavvana and devotion. No rain. It doesnt help.
Then Rabbi Akiva gets up and says two lines. Avinu Malkeinu (Our father our King), we have no king but you. Please have compassion for your sake.
They look up and it starts raining!
The people start murmuring. Can it be that Rabbi Akiva is greater than Rabbi Eliezer. Is he more learned? Is he more pious? Maybe he deserves to be the leader of the generation?
At that point, A heavenly voice calls out: “This was not the result of this one (Rabbi Akiva) being greater than that one (Rabbi Eliezer). Rather it was because this one (Rabbi Akiva) overlooks his hurt and this one (Rabbi Eliezer) does not.” Rabbi Akiva is patient. When people hurt him (intentionally or unintentionally), he is patient. He is flexible. He forgives. Rabbi Eliezer does not.
Friends: This gemara is the answer. If we want Hashem to be “Erech Apaim” Long Nosed, if we want Hashem to forgive us to be patient with us, to grant us life and health, we only have to do one thing. It is not about our piety. It is not about our learning or anything else. All we have to do is be flexible, forgiving and patient. If we are flexible, forgiving and patient with others than G-d will be flexible forgiving and patient with us.
What is the Hebrew word for Patience? Savlanut. What does the root word sabal mean? Carrier or porter. To be patient means to be able to carry or hold onto the hurt and not throw it back in a harmful way that we will regret later on.
In addition to being patient with others, we also must learn to be patient with ourselves. Often times we find ourselves in situations that we cannot control and some of our greatest pain comes from having expectations of others that they act in ways that we expect them to act right now. We must be patient. I know this might sound pessimistic but we must lower expectations of others. We must be patient with them and with ourselves.
Allow me to conclude with a story about someone that I know from Cleveland. This person had a very difficult relationship with his teenage daughters. They pushed him out of their life. They came to believe things about him that were completely not true. They said and did many hurtful things but the father always returned hurt with love and did whatever he could to remain in their lives.
One time I asked him how it was possible to deal with the pain and then return with love?
He would say two words, “Expectations and Patience.” First I cannot have expectations that other people will do what I think they should do. They have their own things that they are dealing with and their own hurt and pain. Second is patience. Things are difficult now and they might be for a year, 5 years or even 15 years, but I have to have patience. Things will change.
Fastforward 15 years. His kids are adults and are now married with kids of their own. I recently saw this person in a park in Cleveland enjoying a day with his daughters and playing with his grandchildren.
On the one hand, the scene was completely ordinary; a grandfather playing with his grandchildren at the park. On the other hand, it was totally extraordinary as I knew that things could have been much different. If the dad would not have had patience. If he would not have been able to hold the pain, the story could have ended very differently. Unfortunately, I know too many people who dont talk to their parents.
So much of life is about patience. It is about erech apaim. It is about knowing the story is not over tomorrow or the next day or even in 5 or 10 years.
So I started with a funny question that I think has a very serious answer. Do Jews really have long noses. The answer is that G-d has a long nose and we should imitate G-d.
I want to bless everyone with a year of patience, a year of forgiveness and a year of reconciliation and peace in our families, for the Jewish people and for all inhabitants of this world.
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