There was a moment during
Thanksgiving dinner, when I had an interesting thought. We were passing around
the turkey/stuffing/cranberry sauce and all of the required “minhagim”
(customs)! I thought that Thanksgiving dinner was like a Yom Tov (festival)
meal! The only difference is that this was one that we were doing with the rest
of America; Jews and non Jews. Normally, when we as Jews celebrate holidays, we
are going against the grain. We are shopping crazy for Pesach and for it is
just a regular Tuesday for non-jews. They shop for costumes before Halloween
and we shop the day after Halloween so we can get 50% off and save it for
Purim! We experience the awe of Yom Kippur and for them it's a regular workday.
Etc Etc.
But on Thanksgiving, we all
are grateful and celebrate together. We eat the same food, watch the same
football game and have the same curmudgeonly uncle who wants to talk politics
as much as we try to keep it out!
So on Thanksgiving, I feel
very much part of America. I always feel very accepted.
And then I think about
Pittsburgh. And then I think about the string of anti-semitic attacks in shuls
in Brooklyn these past few weeks. And then I remember the ADL stats about
rising and unprecedented acts of anti-semitism.
I feel these two
conflicting thoughts. On the one hand, as Jews, we have probably never been
more accepted and part of a society. On the other hand, Anti-semitism (from the
Right and the Left) is all around us.
Does the Torah give us any
insight in how to deal with Anti-semitism?
Well, it just so happens
that in our Parshah we have the classic text.
After many years, Yaakov
return to the Land of Israel and he is about to confront his brother Esav who
(Yaakov believes) wants to kill him. Esav has 400 men with him. The verse says
that Esav “Runs to meet him.” Now if you are Yaakov, you are thinking, ‘this is
the end for me.” But instead, Esav “hugs him, kisses him, falls on his shoulder
and they weep.”
It is a heart-warming
scene. After all of the years of hatred and threats, reconciliation is
possible. Love wins over hate.
But there is a whole school
of Midrashim that is not so ready to accept that Esav has changed, that he now
loves his brother.
You see, there are dots
over the word, וישקהו (and He Kissed him).
They understand this to mean that the Kiss is compromised in some way. One
Midrash goes so far as to say that when Esav went in for the “kiss”, his plan
was to bite Yaakov’s neck and kill him. But, miraculously, Yaakov’s neck turned
into marble! When the text then says that they cried, this was not tears of an
emotional embrace but instead Yaakov was crying because his neck turned into
marble and Esav cried because his teeth fell out!
A different Midrash quotes
the famous statement of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai: הלכה
בידוע שעשיו שונא ליעקב - It is a well know Halacha that Esav
hates Yaakov. It means that even when Esav (or generically all non-jews as it
has come to be understood) shows love, we always must be suspicious. They still
have hate for us which could come out at any moment.
This was an idea that was
very present in my life when I grew up. It was used in the following way.
Suppose I would share with other Jews that a non-jewish person just moved in
next door. If I would say that they are a really nice family and we have become
friends. Maybe one of their children has become friends with ours. The response
would be “Esav Soneh L’Yaakov - remember there is always hate. Be careful.”
This is only one
perspective. If you look at Ibn Ezra, Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsch, Haamek Davar
and others, they all explain that Esav’s kiss was genuine. People can change.
Groups that at once were anti-semitic can evolve over time. But the idea of
Esav Hates Yaakov has had a very deep place in our consciousness especially in
light of thousands of years of persecution.
There are two fascinating
Responsa on this topic from the 1960’s and 70’s that I would like to share with
you. The first from Rabbi Moshe Feinstein and the second from Rabbi Yosef
Eliyahu Henkin.
First, from Rabbi Feinstein
(Igros Moshe Choshen Mishpat 2 #77). The year was 1977. The question actually
came from England. We only see his answer so we sort of have to figure out the
question. The question is something like this. Jewish schools in England are
apparently funded by the government. One Jewish school believed that it was not
getting all the funding it deserved under the law. They had appealed to the
British government unsuccessfully. For some (unexplained) reason, the school
was able to sue the British government in another country to get them to
provide the desired funding. Rav Moshe Feinstein was asked if the school should
do this. He answered that they should definitely not do this because this could
provoke British non jews against the Jews and cause great harm. Even if they
(the non-jews) seem to be nice, we always have to remember that Esav hates
Yaakov. Rabbi Feinstein concludes by explaining why the statement refers to
anti-semitism as a “well known Halacha.” This is not a typical jewish law. He
explains that it means that just as Jewish Law will never change (it is
eternal) so too will the hate against jews never change. Even those who appear
to be kind to jews, really have a hatred inside.
Rav Moshe’s responsum feels
very similar to ideas that I heard as a child.
On the other hand, there is
a fascinating responsum (really more of an essay) from Rav Henkin (Teshuvos
Ivra #116) from 1968. The topic is anti-semitism and its causes. I will quote
directly:
“The Preachers and Babblers
are commiting a great sin when they always say “That it is a well know Halacha
that Esav hates Yaakov, and that this hate is eternal. This is against Truth
and against Rabbinic and Torah teachings. For Esav himself was not evil
forever...As Ben Zoma taught: “Who is honored, the one who honors others.” This
also refers to non-jews. When we honor them and say you are my friend, they
become friends through this. And conversely, when we say “you hate us (you are
an anti-semite), they become haters (anti-semites). We see this every day….”
This is my take away from
Rabbi Feinstein and Rabbi Henkin. We need both. We need people to be vigilant
and always worried about finding anti-semitism. But we also need people finding
and pointing out love of Jews.
Thank G-d in our community,
we have many people who find anti-semitism. What I mean by that is that jews on
the Right are very good at finding every possible instance of anti-semitism on
the Left and Jews on the Left are very good at finding every possible instance
of anti-semitism on the Right! We find anti-semitism when it is explicit. We
find it when it is hiding under a rock or when one time someone took a picture
with someone else who is anti-semitic (don’t worry, there are examples of this
on both Right and Left). Thank G-d we have organizations (again both on the
Right and Left) dedicated to sniffing this stuff out and I am grateful for
their work in keeping us safe.
But here is my worry. We
are not doing enough of the Rabbi Henkin approach. We are not spending enough
time finding instances of Love. And when Non-jews do reach out (with love and
support) to us, we are so quick to question their motives or who they are or
who they were once friends with (again, I see this happening on both the Right
and the Left).
Of course, we cannot be
naive. We must be vigilant. But we also have to learn to accept Love. As Rabbi
Henkin says, people can change. And sometimes the way we can enhance
philosemitism, is by embracing those who try to support us. And unfortunately,
screaming “anti-semite” so loud all of the time and finding it under every rock
might lead to more anti-semitism. Even when we have to be vigilant against
anti-semitism, I wonder if there is better way to do it.
So we have Rav Moshe and
Rav Henkin. Rav Moshe reminds us to be vigilant. Rav Henkin reminds us to not
be over vigilant. It is a tough balance. But nobody ever said life is easy! I
pray that the lessons of both great rabbis guide us with the very challenging
issue of anti-semitism and philo-semitism in the 21st century!
