Anyways, the other day, my four year old Reuven had just come back from a jam packed morning at a friends birthday party (You know there are no more Sundays, just birthday party day!). He gets home and we are getting ready, in about 8 minutes, to go swimming. But in between the party and the swimming, as we are getting ready, he starts pulling my leg. I said, “Reuven, what you want? He said, “Daddy, “I am so bored.” He is not just plain bored. He is so bored in just 8 minutes!
As a parent, this is hard to hear. We have a trampoline outside, we just bought a brand new swingset, the kids have their bikes, games, scooters and a basement full of arts and crafts and yet in 8 minutes between a party and going to the pool, my 4 year is so bored!
I would like to turn this question on the adults in this room. “Are you bored? I don't mean right now (although I am sure many of your are!), I mean, as a Jew, are you bored? Does your judaism bore you? Do you suffer from what Dr. Erica Brown calls “Spiritual Boredom?”
The question can be expanded to other areas of life as well. Does your job bore you? How about your friends? How about your spouse? I am going to focus on the spiritual boredom question but you can apply everything we say to other kinds of boredom.
Let me articulate the challenge the way Dr. Erica Brown does. You see there is one thing about Judaism which is its greatest strength and at the same time its greatest weakness. It is called Ritual. Rituals are things that we do exactly the same way over and over again at set intervals in our calendar. The wonderful thing about ritual is that it gives us an anchor, stability, and a connection with our past in a world that is so chaotic, unpredictable and uncontrollable. This is its strength. Its weakness is that it is the same old, same old every time. It gets boring very quickly. Every week we have the same shabbat. Everyday the same blessings. Every time, I want to eat bread, I do the same washing of the hands, the same Hamotzie and the same exact Birkhat Hamazon that I have been doing since I was three! Can’t the rabbis come up with any new ideas!
This problem is most acute with prayer.
If you go to shabbat service every week for a year, the prayers will be almost exactly the same every week 52 times in a row. Could you imagine if you had a subscription series to the local theater and every Saturday night you went to watch a play but it was the same play every time… in a language you don't even understand! You would go crazy from boredom. Many people wonder why so many people don't come to shul. I am actually surprised that so many of you come!
So herein lies the challenge. How can we embrace our lives of ritual which ground us, give us strength order and stability without that same ritual boring the heck out of us! I think this is the challenge of the 21st century and it is the reason we are losing so many jews.
I would like to begin answering the question by looking at one of the heroes of Rosh Hashana, Chana. We all know the story. Chana was married to this guy named Elkana. Chana had what the Mormon’s call a sister wife, Penina. However, in Judaism, a sister-wife is called a Tzara (or a pain in the ?!?!). So if Chana wanted to introduce Penina to someone, she would say “I would like to introduce you to my “Pain!”
Anyways, Penina has many children and Chana has none. To make matters worse, Penina actually taunts Chana and makes fun of her infertility. Chana’s husband is of no help. He probably says the stupidest things that any husband has said to his wife (and many men have said very stupid things to their wives!). He tried to comfort Chana by saying, “Am I not better than 10 kids.” Chana is so upset she runs to the Sanctuary and begins to pray. Now here is where I need your help. As Chana begins to pray, tell me what kinds of emotions do you think she is feeling. Just name them.
“Despair, Anger, Frustration, Jealousy…”
I want to add one more. “Guilt.” How do I know this? I know this from you, my congregants. Almost every time I am meeting with someone who is struggling with something whether is is health, livelihood, or trouble with children. The sufferer always thinks that they committed some sin to deserve it. After so many Rosh Hashanas that Chanah was not answered I am sure she was feeling guilt as well.
Anyways Chanah comes to the Sanctuary with all of these emotions and she begins praying. And when you pray with those emotions what does it look like from the outside? What does Eli (the High Priest) think about Chana? He thinks that she is drunk.
Chana says, “I had nothing to drink….But I am pouring out my soul to G-d.” In hebrew this is called Hishtapchut Hanefesh. This means that you take all of your emotions; anger, hatred, jealousy, despair, anxiety, gratitude, joy, hope; and you bring them into your prayer. You pour the emotions into the words of the Prayer. Prayer is called עבודה שבלב (“service of the heart”). If we go through an entire prayer service, if we spend 4 hours praying in shul on Rosh Hashana and our hearts are not stirred even once, then we have not prayed. Just making hebrew words come out of your mouth is not prayer.
And I promise that if you pray as Chana prayed (with all of your emotions) then prayer will never be boring. Because even if the words are the same every time, something is always different. You are always different. You are always going through different things and therefore in a different emotional state and the prayer is always new and very relevant.
This leads me to my next point. The next tool to prevent boredom. It is called Kavvanah. Most people think that Kavvana means that I close my eyes and shuckel (the faster the better!). I am a shuckeler but this is not Kavvanah. Maimonides teaches us that Kavvanah comes before prayer.
צריך לישב מעט קודם תפילה כדי לכוין את לבו
Kavvanh comes from the word “Kivun” which means direction or focus or goal. Before we daven (or before we do anything) we ask ourselves “what is our goal for the next 20 minutes? What I am trying to accomplish. Just asking that question will transform davening (and the sukkah and the seder and Birkhat Hamazon etc etc). This is not only true about religion. If before I come home after a long day of work I should ask myself, what is my goal with my family? What is my goal with my spouse? This will transform everything. This will keep it fresh, relevant and never boring.
One more point and then we will get to the story! This is the most important. We always say that Prayer is a conversation. It is a conversation between me and G-d. But there is a major problem with this. Whenever there is a relationship and one person seems to be doing all of the talking and the other maybe says “yeah, uhuh” it is not really a good conversation (just ask my wife about that!).
So Davening is a conversation. We bring everything (all of our emotions) to G-d. We tell G-d about our hard day, our troubles, our hopes and our dreams. And what do we get back? Nothing. No response. It doesn’t feel so good. Maybe that is why many are turned away from Prayer.
I would like to offer something that I believe in the deepest place of my soul. I say what I am about to say as someone who does not experience the supernatural in my life. I believe that G-d talks to me each and every day. When does G-d talk to me? Every time, I hear the Torah read, it is the word of G-d and I believe that there is a message in it for me to address something that I am struggling with at that moment. The message usually is not clear. I have to dig and turn it over again and again. But then it is there. A message from G-d. You don’t have to hear the Torah reading in shul to experience this (although I believe there is a special power in that experience). You can just pull a chumash (bible) off the shelf and read the parsha of the week (or any section) and it is the word of G-d. You pray and bring all of yourself (all of your emotions) and talk to G-d and then you study Torah and G-d talks back.
I recently officiated at a funeral for an amazing woman named Amy Kass. She was a professor at University of Chicago for many years. I asked her husband, Leon, “tell me something that you admire about Amy.” He told me that every time Amy read a book or a poem or even a book review, she read it as if it contained information or an idea that would transform her life. Wow!
Question: Do we read Torah like that? Do we listen to the Torah reading on a random shabbat with the belief that it might change us, that it might elevate us, that it might have that bit of wisdom that we are in desperate need of at that moment?
Prayer is a conversation. We bring ourselves (everything we have) to the prayer. We then study and G-d talks back. How can prayer be boring when G-d is talking back!
Now the story. When I read this story, it pierced my heart. David Tzeitelbach was just 13 years old in 1942 when the Nazis invaded his Polish town. A Ghetto was set up. Shortly after, the Ghetto was liquidated. David happened to escape but his Mother, Father and older sister were taken never to be heard from again. David had one thing going for him. He had blond hair and blue eyes. Nobody suspected that he was Jewish. He found a farmer who hired him to be a farm hand. He missed his family so much but at least he was alive. Spring turned to summer and summer turned to early Fall. The days started getting shorter and it was getting to be a bit chilly in the morning. He knew that it was Rosh Hashana anyday. On the day that he thought it was Rosh Hashana, he was so sad. He remembered with fondness going to shul with his parents and sister and sitting next to his father and praying the Rosh Hashana davening. He thinks, “If only I would be a little older, I would probably be able to remember some of the prayers but now I know none of them.” The farmer interrupted David’s memories. He asked him to go into town to pick up some goods at the grocery store. David got on the horse to go into town. He arrived at the store. He pulled out the shopping list. He asked the grocer for 1 lb. of salt, one lb. of sugar and a half lb. of flour. And then he saw the grocer go over to a pile of books thrown on the floor. They had hebrew on them. They looked like Chumashim (bibles). Then to David’s horror, the grocer callously ripped a page out, rolled into a cone-shape and put the salt in there. He did the same for the flour and sugar. There must have been a paper shortage during the war and the grocer was using abandoned chumashim that were left behind by the jews who had been sent away.
David was in so much pain. Not only was he riding on a horse on Rosh Hashana, he was causing the grocer to rip out pages from a chumash. He takes the items and cries all of the way home. When he gets back he goes to the pantry and starts emptying out the salt. He brushes away the last particles. He then unfolds the paper to see what it says and behold it is not a chumash or a siddur. He starts reading:
ונתנה תקף קדושת היום (Let us now relate the power of the day)
It is a Rosh Hashana Machzor (prayerbook) and David is reading the most powerful song of the day. He can feel his father right next to him as he remembers davening with him in shul. He continues to read:
ובשופר גדול יתקע וקול דממה דקה ישמע
“The great shofar will be sounded but a soft voice will be heard.” He remembers his mother’s sweet soft voice as she tucked him in and said the bedtime shema.
But then he goes on:
מי יחיה ומי ימות - "Who will live and who will die"
מי בקצו ומי לא בקצו - "who at his time and who before his time"
מי במים ומי באש מי בחרב...מי ברעב ומי בצמא - "Who by water, who by fire, who by sword, who hunger and who by thirst"
And David starts crying thinking about his Mother, father and sister and himself.
But then he reads the powerful conclusion:
ותשובה, ותפילה וצדקה מעבירין את רע הגזרה
“But repentance, prayer and charity remove the evil of the decree”
These are the values that his parents taught him. He has to be thoughtful, he has to pray and he has to be kind as possible and then no matter how ugly the world around you is, you can begin to repair the world. You can do your part.
David is now in his eighties and he still gets so much out of the Rosh Hashana prayers.
So if we want to live an inspired life, If we want our prayers to be fresh, relevant and new (even as they are the same exact words) all we have to do is have Kavvanh (state our goals before we begin), bring our entire emotional selves to the prayer just like 13 year old David and Chanah, and we then have to turn it into a conversation by listening for the return message when we study Torah.
If we do this. If we bring our whole self into our prayers. If we open up our hearts, May G-d open up all of the gates of Heaven. May G-d shower us on this new year with a year of health, safety and security, and most importantly a year when our deepest prayers our answered.
Shanah Tova!
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