"What Gifts should I be giving for Chanukah"

In the past three weeks, we have had Black Friday, Cyber Monday, tax free shipping whatever day, and now I just heard on the radio that the industry experts are saying that Black Friday has really turned into Black December!

It is really impossible to turn on the tv, open your newspaper, drive on the street without being bombarded with companies trying to get you to buy a gift for someone else.

This of course has me asking the following question: What is the Jewish Attitude towards Giving Gifts? This question can be asked with regards to Chanukah gifts specifically and more generally, what is the Jewish Attitude to giving and receiving gifts.

First question - Chanukah gifts. I promise you that if you look in the entire Talmud, Rambam, Shulchan Aruch you will find no discussion of giving gifts on Chanukah.

The first mention of this concept is in the Magen Avraham (17th century commentator on Shulchan Aruch) and listen closely to what he says:

מגן אברהם סימן תרע

נוהגין הנערים העניים לסבב בחנוכ' על הפתחים

There custom is that children who are poor go door to door on Chanukah [and collect gelt - money].
The original concept of chanukah gelt was to give it to the poor. It was then extended to giving Gelt to our Children and then Christmas Presents came on the scene and the rest is history!
So there is no Biblical Law, Rabbinic Law or even Custom which would mandate parents giving gifts to their kids on chanukah!

But just because it is not a halakhic requirement to give chanukah gifts, doesn't mean that it is forbidden. So what is the Jewish Attitude in general to gift giving?

Let us first begin with a story from the Talmud (Megilah 28a):

שאל ר"ע את רבי נחוניא הגדול במה הארכת ימים...א"ל מימי לא קבלתי מתנות.... דכתיב (משלי טו, כז) שונא מתנות יחיה

Rabbi Akiva asked Rabbi Nechunya: What did you do to merit to live a long life?
Now think about all of the wonderful things the great Rabbi Nechunya could have answered. He was a great Torah scholar. I am sure he was scrupulous in mitzvah observance. He was probably a wonderful father, husband etc.
Yet, what does he answer? He says: I merited to live long because I never accepted a gift in my entire life. As it says in the verse from Proverbs: “One who hates gifts, will live.”

Now this gemara understands the words “will live” literally. If you hate gifts, you will live a long life.
But there are other interpretations.
Rashi - “Will Live” means will live the ethical life. Rashi says:

"מי ששונא מתנות, כל שכן ששונא גזל"

If you hate gifts (which you have a right to accept) then you will certainly hate items obtained through theft. Other commentators talk about bribery, corruption and any other financial impropriety. In other words, if you are someone who always craves the next gift, you depend on material acquisitions, then you will be prone to bribery and corruption. So for Rashi, Hating Gifts is a strategy to make sure that you live the ethical life.
שונא מתנות יחיה - If you hate gifts, you will live the ethical life.

The Vilna Gaon interprets “will live” to mean you will live a happy life; you will be content.
"מחמת שהוא מצפה תמיד למתנה, אם לא יתנו לו, אפילו פעם אחת, יושב בצער"
“If you always expect people to give you gifts, then if they do not come through even once, you will be devastated”
This is true in many areas of life. It is all about expectations. If we expect too much from other people, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. The Vilna Gaon teaches, it is better not to expect anything. If people come through, wonderful. If not, we will still be happy.
So for the Vilna Gaon, שונא מתנות יחיה means, if we hate gifts, meaning we do not expect people to give us gifts, we will always be happy and content.

So far, it seems that Judaism has an anti-gift ethos! But how is this possible if there are Talmudic Passages which say that G-d Himself gives gifts to the Jewish People.

Of course the answer is that Gift Giving is not universally Good and not Universally Bad. It depends on the content of the Gift.

So let us look at the Gemarot which say that God gives gifts to find out what kinds of gifts G-d gives us. After all, we are supposed to imitate God so if we want to know what we should put on our Gift list for this chanukah, we have to see what kinds of gifts G-d gives to us and then we must imitate G-d.

One Gemara teaches us:
שלש מתנות טובות נתן הקדוש ברוך הוא לישראל... תורה, ארץ ישראל ועולם הבה
G-d gave us three Gifts; … Torah, Israel, and a share in the world to come.
Another Gemara says that G-d said to Moshe. “I have one gift in my storage house and I would like to give it to the Jewish People and Shabbat is its name.”

Here is what G-d gives us as gifts: Torah, Israel, World-to-Come and Shabbat.
This means it is our obligation to imitate G-d and give these gifts to other people. Share these gifts with others.
Let me take the first two; Torah and Israel.
Last Night we had a tremendously inspiring Kabbalat Shabbat led by Sam Glazer. Sam is a Jewish Miusician par-excellence. He told us that in 1980, he was completely irreligious. Someone offered him a ticket to Israel. He went to Israel, studied at Aish Hatorah, become Observant and now he inspires many thousands of people every year. All because someone gave him a gift of a plane ticket. That gift gave Sam both Israel and Torah in one and now he shares that with so many others.
Think about the $1000 spent on that plane ticket. It could have been a gift of the newest computer, ipad hdtv etc. But all of those things would be an old model in just a few years and sold on Craigs List for $20. The gift that Sam received is eternal and priceless.

Lets take the last one, Shabbat. Let me tell you a story.
The Chozeh of Lublin (18th century - Poland - Hassidic Master) and his Rebbetzin (wife) were extremely poor. One Friday afternoon about 10 minutes before shabbat, the rebbetzin had set the table with a very modest meal but she could not even find two pennies to purchase two candles for shabbat. She looked all around the house, behind couches and in every corner, but she was out of luck.
So she runs out of the house to the street corner, she looks up to heaven and she starts crying, “Master of the Universe, please give me two pennies so I can be blessed with the shabbat light.”
Just then, a beautiful carriage is speeding by and it comes to a screeching stop right before the Rebbetzin. The driver opens the door, and low and behold it is one of the wealthiest men in town who is very kind but has left Jewish Practice many years before.
He says to the Rebbetzin, “Please tell me how I can help you, I cannot bear to see you in pain.” The rebbetzin says, I need two pennies for shabbos candles.” The man says, “Two Pennies! I am very rich. I can give you whatever you want. I will give you 100 rubles for all your needs.” The rebbetzin says, no, just please give me two pennies for shabbos candles.
He gives her the two pennies and then the Rebbetzin says, “You dont know how much this means to me. You just gave me the Gift of the Light of Shabbat so I bless you, that you should also have the Gift of the Light of Shabbat.
The man says, “you know I do not believe in that stuff but please enjoy the candles and he then rushes off on his way out of town.
The Rebbetzin quickly goes and buys shabbat candles just in time for shabbat.
Half an hour later: The Chozeh is in the middle of davening Maariv (Praying the evening service). He is taken to the heavenly court and they say: “Chozeh: We have a problem with you and your rebbetzin. Your rebbetzin just gave a beracha to a very evil person. Look at him now.” The Heavenly Court gave the Chozeh a view of what he was doing. He was about to get out his carriage in front of a nice hotel as (in the words of Shlomo Carlebach) he was about to visit his “Fancy Lady Friend.”
The Court continued: “He is such a sinner and your wife blessed him with the Light of shabbos. He doesnt deserve that gift.”
The Chozeh says back: “How do you know? Maybe he is only sinning because he never experience the Light of Shabbos. Give it to him for one hour and lets see what becomes of him.”
The Court agrees and instantly, the man feels different. He starts thinking about his life. He remembers that today is shabbos and he is about to commit a sin. He realizes that he doesn't even understand the true beauty of shabbat but he wants to learn and he knows who can teach him.
He turns around and goes right back to the house of the Chozeh and the Rebbetzin and knocks on the door. They invite him in for shabbos meal and rest is history. According to the legend, we do not know this man’s name but he became one of the greatest students of the Chozeh (and Rebbetzin) of Lublin.
The Rebbetzin Gave him the Gift of the light of Shabbos.

We are starting a new initiative here at Beth Sholom. It is called:
“Share the Gift of Shabbos”
Every Friday Night at Beth Sholom, we have a wonderful Kabbalat Shabbat, full of ruach, dancing and singing. I want you to think of someone in your life who does not have the gift of shabbat like you have it and share it with them. Invite them to come to shul on Friday night with you and then invite them to your house for shabbat dinner.
This initiative is for everyone in this shul regardless of where you live and whether or not your observance of shabbat is perfect. You have a shabbat table, you light candles, you make kiddush and Hamotzie. You know something about Judaism. Well there are thousands and thousands of Jews out there who know less. who do not have the Gift of shabbos like you have it. Please share it. Think of someone you know from work, from the Gym, from your kid’s school and make a commitment right now to invite them for shabbat sometime in the next two months.

Give the Gift of Torah. Perhaps you go to a Torah Class that you know someone else would benefit from. Take them. You could change their lives. Maybe you just read a book that was very inspiring. Give it as a gift to someone else. It could change thier lives.

As we buy gifts this Chanukah, lets think about giving gifts jewishly. To give a Jewish gift doesn’t mean one jew buys a gift for another jew from a jewish owned store.
It means to imitate Hashem. Hashem gives the gifts of Torah, Israel, World-to-Come and Shabbat.
Lets be creative this year. Lets think of ways to give these same gifts to each other.

Responsa Related to Israel - Class 1 - Rabbi Uziel on Conversion & Intermarriage

To Listen to the class - click here

To Download the source sheet - click here

* New Class Taught by Rabbi Antine – Tuesday Nights at 8 PM

"Responsa of the State of Israel"

Topic: "Israel's first Sephardic Chief Rabbi on Conversion, Intermarriage, and Karaites"

This class will explore Halakhic Literature relating to the founding of the State of Israel and the attempt of Israelis to harmonize Halakha and a modern state. Topics will include:

· Should Israel have a separation of religion and state?

· How should a religious Israeli Police Officer behave on Shabbat?

· How should a soldier keep Shabbat and kashrut during time of war?

· What is the halakhic status of Israel's non-Jewish minorities?

In addition to learning the Halakhic material, we will also explore the biographies and contributions of some of the Great Torah Scholars (including a number of Chief Rabbis) who participated in this discourse.

Rosh Hashana Sermon 5772 - "The Silent Shofar of Begen Belsen"

It was a few days before Rosh Hashana 1943 in Bergen Belsen. Wolf Fischelberg was waling back to his barracks and just over the barbed wire fence there was a block of “priveleged jews” with coveted foreign passports. All of the sudden, out of the corner of his eye, Wolf sees a rock flying towards him from the privaleged block. It nearly hits his head and then lands right at his feet. He notices that the rock has a note tied to it. He looks both ways to make sure nobody is looking and he picks up the note and slides it into his pocket. Later that evening, in a corner, at a distance from the others, Wolf read the note. It was written in Hebrew by a Dutch Jew named Hayyim Borack. ...Hayyim wrote that he was fortunate to have obtained a shofar and if the Hasidic Jews from the Polish transports wished to use the shofar for Rosh Hashanah services, Borack could smuggle the shofar in one of the coffee cauldrons of the morning distribution. In doing so they would lose the cauldron of coffee, for the shofar would be covered with a minimal amount of coffee, just enough to conceal it.
A vote was taken among the Polish Jews. Those in favor of the plan to smuggle in the shofar held a clear majority. They all agreed to give up their morning coffee ration on the first day of Rosh Hashanah....
The smuggling of the shofar was a success. Nobody was caught and the shofar was not damaged. But now a new problem arose. In order to fulfill the mitzvah, the obligation of shofar blowing, all present must clearly hear the voice of the shofar. The risk was great. If the sounds of the shofar reached the German ears, all present would pay with their lives.
The following question then arose in the Barracks: Would it be permissible to intentionally muffle the sound of the shofar so that it would not be heard by a passing Nazi?
(Story from Hasidic Tales of the Holocaust)

I promise you that I will get back to this question but I first would like to take a look at a seemingly unrelated passage.

If you look at the U’netaneh Tokef (478- second line) - ובשופר גדול יתקע וקול דממה דקה ישמע
“He will blow the Great Shofar; And a small thin voice will be heard”

Question: If it is a great shofar? why the small thin voice?

Answer: I think we can answer this by looking at two events that took place at Mount Sinai. The first event was Matan Torah, the Giving of the Torah. There was thunder and lightning and a shofar blast which was holech v’chazak meod (it got stronger the longer it lasted). This is the shofar gadol. Awesome. Powerful. Extraordinary.

But then we turn to the next event that occurred at Mount Sinai. About 400 years later, Elijah the prophet was hiding in desert מדבר. An angel then tells him to walk for 40 days and 40 nights and he arrives at Mount Sinai. All of the sudden, there is a רוח גדולה מפרק הרים (a powerful wind that shatters mountains) - But the angel says - “Hashem is not in the wind:” (לא ברוח ה’). Then there is an earthquake. But the “hashem is not in the earthquake”. Then then a fire. But the Angel says -Hashem is not in the fire. After the fire there is a still, thin sound (Kol Demama Dakah).
Elijah is being taught that if you want to look for Hashem, dont look in the spectacular, in the amazing, in the extraordinary. If you want to find Hashem, you have to listen to the still thin sound of the mundane day in and day out reality, you have to look for Hashem in the ordinary.

We call this Halakha. The Definition of Halakha - Our attempt to encounter/hear G-d in the seemingly boring details of everyday life. Our attempt to make the ordinary, holy.

Which one lasts longer? The Shofar Gadol lasts for 40 days (40 days after revelation at Mount Sinai they committed sin of the golden calf). The Kol Demama daka lasts forever.

Let me give a few examples.

A boy or a girl has a bar or bat mitzvah. It is amazing. Everyone is in shul. The child does so well. The child is so inspired in his or her judaism. This is the Shofar Gadol (The great shofar).
But the real challenge is, what happens tomorrow and the next day. Does the child take the inspiration of the Bar Mitzvah and look for G-d daily throughout the teenage years and into college. This is the real challenge. This is the Kol Demama Dakah.

A couple gets married. So beautiful. So inspiring. Every couple wants to get every Jewish detail right for the wedding. This is the shofar gadol. But what happens the day after. There are so many halakhot that pertain to married life (laws of family purity, laws of setting up home, laws of raising children. How committed are we at that point. This is the Kol Demama Daka.

Today is Rosh Hashana. Everyone is here! The davening is beautiful so inspiring. Everyone is thinking about their lives and praying for a good year. This is the Shofar Gadol. The question is who shows up on a random Thursday in November? Who takes five minutes out of their lunch break to daven mincha. Who remembers to Bentch (Grace after meals) when we are just by ourselves. It is quiet. Nobody is watching. This is the Kol Demama Daka.

I recently taught a class on the Laws of Shabbat. I have to say, I was nervous. Would anyone be interested in learning about all of the seemingly boring details. I was so moved by your response. Everyone wanted more and more detail. Everyone was thirsty to learn subtle distinctions between between cooking and reheating, liquid food and solid food, ovens vs. hot plates vs. warming ovens vs. blechs, 105 vs. 110 degrees, shehiya and chazara.
This is beautiful. This is how we turn the ordinary into the holy. This is how we listen for G-d in the Kol Demama Daka.

Now for the controversial part (there always has to be something controversial!). Many in this room are so worried about our children. How will they turn out. Will they be observant. Will they be committed and passionate jews. Will they intermarry?
So what do we do? We spend thousands of dollars (perhaps hundreds of thousands of dollars) on Day School, Israel trips, holocaust trips, summer experiences and Birthrights so they will have that moment of amazing inspiration that will bind them to Judaism forever. - we are trying to give our children the shofar gadol. This is beautiful but We also need to give them kol demama daka.
We need to give them the boring everyday judaism. The Shabbat, the Kashrut, the consistency of davening and Torah study.

We, our Jewish community, is excellent at creating “Extraordinary Judaism.” But are we good enough at doing “Ordinary Judaism”? I have a harsh observation. If we do not do better (all of us regardless of our current level of observance) at “Ordinary Judaism” then the hundreds of thousands of dollars that we spend on “Extraordinary Judaism” is one big waste of money. The shofar gadol is important to recharge our batteries, to give us great moments of inspiration. But we also need the Kol Demama Daka and without it, the shofar gadol is meaningless.

Now I would like to return to Bergen Belsen. Was it permitted to intentionally muffle the sound of that shofar blast? Well based on the lesson of the Kol Demama Daka, it would seem that it might even be spiritually preferable to to have a muffled silent sound then to have the poweful shofar Gadol blast.

However, spiritual intuitions are not sufficient. We must consult the Halakha.

And this is precisely what happened in Bergen Belsen. “A heated debate developed among the scholars and rabbis” in the barracks on this topic.”

While the halakhic arguments are not recorded in the story, I can imagine that the following source might have been quoted.

Mishna Rosh Hashana 3:7 "If someone blows a Shofar into a pit, cistern or barrel, then he is Yotze if he hears the sound of the Shofar, but not if he hears the echo"

Why would someone blow a shofar into a pit or a barrel? Is this just an example of the rabbis sitting around and discussing crazy hypothetical cases for their intellectual enjoyment.

Meiri (quoting Rav Shrira Goen) - This was a very real and practical question. This mishnah was composed during the Hadrianic Persecutions (Post Bar Kochba in 135). Sounding the shofar was illegal and if a Roman overheard the shofar blast, Jews could be put to death. They therefore wanted to know if they could blow the shofar into a pit or a barrel to muffle the sound.

The answer was, if you hear the echo, you do not fulfill the mitzvah. But if you hear the shofar (no matter how muffled) you fulfill the mitzvah. Shulchan Aruch - כל הקולות כשרות (All sounds are kosher no matter how loud or how soft).

The rabbis and the scholars in Bergen Belsen must have discussed these sources and then a decision was reached to blow the shofar quietly. God would surely accept the muffled sounds of the shofar...thought Wolf Fischelberg as he was about to blow the shofar.
As little Miriam, Wolf’s daughter, listened to the shofar, she hoped that it would bring down the barbed-wire fences of Bergen Belsen just as the blasts of the shofar had in earlier times made the walls of Jericho come tumbling down. Then the service was over.
Nothing had changed. The barbed wires remained fixed in their places.Only in the heart did something stir – knowledge and hope; knowledge that the muffled voice of a shofar
had made a dent in the Nazi wall of humiliation and slavery, and hope that someday freedom would bring down the barbed-wire fences of Bergen Belsen and of humanity.

I believe that the hope came from the fact that no matter what was going on in the Concentration Camp, they still listened for the Kol Demama Daka, the muffled sound of the shofar. Their focus until the end was on the Halakha and how it could sanctify very difficult and seemingly very unholy moments of life.

And Miriam’s hope came to fruition less then two years later in May of 1945. While Miriam and her family were traveling on a Death Train through the German countryside, their train was liberated by the US army.

I hope that this year, 5752, we can hear both sounds of the shofar. The shofar Gadol which provides those amazing moments of inspiration and deep connection. But then also the Kol Demama Daka, which we have to listen very carefully for and sanctify the other 99% of seemingly ordinary times in our lives. It is the kol Demama Daka which ultimately will have a deeper impact on ourselves and on our children.

And as we try to do our part and listen for Hashem’s voice, May Hashem listen to our voice as well and grant us a year of prosperity, health and fulfillment of our deepest prayers. Shana Tova.

9/11 10th Anniversary Sermon

9/11 10th Anniversary Derasha

I have thought long and hard about what I would say on this 10th anniversary of 9/11. So much has been said. So many speeches, so many articles, opeds and essays. But at a certain level, nothing needs to be said. Every person in this room remembers exactly where they were and exactly what they felt when they first heard or saw the planes crashing in to the towers. We remember vividly the emotions, the fear, the concern, the confusion, the sense of loss. So nothing needs to be said.

Yet, I find myself up here talking so I will go to the place where I always go whenever I confront tragedy. Whenever, I struggle with a difficutl situation, I turn to Halakha and more specifically, to the “Responsa Literature” to see the religious struggles that Jews have had when going through difficult times.

So I am going to begin with a Halakhic question that was sent by the Beth Din of America to Rabbi Ovadya Yosef (former Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel). I am going to quote the testimony of Delphine Saada. Delphine’s husband, Thierry Saada (The Saada’s are French Jews of Tunisian Descent who arrived in the US in the 90’s), worked as a Trader for Cantor Fitzgerald on the 104th floor on the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

“My husband called me at 8:02 am to wake me up. At 8:50 (4 minutes after the North Tower was hit which occured at 8:46), I called him on his cell phone but he did not answer. I left a message. At 8:52, he called on his cell phone and told me they were evacuating the building. That was the last time I heard his voice.”

The question in this case was do we have enough evidence under Jewish law to declare Thierry dead. If not, then in addition to all of the suffering that Delphine, as a 9/11 widow encountered, she would now be an agunah (a chained woman not free to remarry).

No remains of Thierry Saada were found. No teeth that could be verified with dental records. No DNA evidence. Nothing. All they had was a call from the office at 8:02 and cell phone call at 8:52. The problem with the cell phone call is that it could have been made anywhere withing the range of the cell phone tower. It is possible that some time after 8:02 and before the plane hit, Thierry left the building and then after the towers were hit, he took the opportunity to disappear.

Some of you might be thinking that this is crazy. Hasnt this woman suffered enough? Why can’t we just assume that Thierry is dead and allow her to get on with her life?

I would therefore like to demonstrate to you how important it is to prove with as much certainty as possible that a husband is dead, before we allow a woman to remarry. I will do this with another responsum, this one date the 12th day of Tishrei 1942 (just 2 days after Yom Kippur) in the Kovno Ghetto. The Germans discovered that there were way more women in the ghetto than men. They were unhappy with this so said that any woman who is not married by such and such a date will be killed. All the single women in the ghetto went out and married any man they could find. One particular woman’s husband had been taken by the Nazis a few years earlier and she had heard a number of reports that he was dead. She was confident that he died because if not, he certainly would have tried to contact her.
This woman goes and married a second man and they have a child. They all survive the war move to America, send this boy to yeshiva. He eventually gets married and becomes a rabbi.

One day, 30 years after the holocaust, guess who shows up?
The first husband. He doesnt really have a good explanation as to where he was for the last 30 years, but he is here. This means that this boy is a Mamzer (the product of adultery) for his mother was still married to her first husband when she had him). The result was that this young man who was now a rabbi was actually forced to give up his position as rabbi and he was forced to divorce his wife because he was not allowed to be married to her.

Verifying that a husband is dead is certainly very important and that is what the bet din in our case set out to do.

The question was specifically sent to Rabbi Ovadyah Yosef because the Saada’s were a Sephardic family.
So how does Rabbi Ovadyah Yosef rule?
Rabbi Ovadyah Yosef and others who dealt with these questions (there were about 15 9/11 agunot) takes a two prong approach.

First, he establishes that Thierry was in fact on the 104th floor when the plane hit.

He argues that we may use the phone records and the testimony of the wife and he employs a concept called chazakah which says that if Thierry was there at 8:02, we can assume that he was there until we know for sure that he was not there.

The second prong is as follows. Now that we can place Thierry in his office on the 104th floor at the moment of impact, we can apply the Talmudic concept of “One who falls into a burning furnace.” If we have witnesses who see someone fall into a furnace, even if no body is recovered, we can declare the person dead. Since we know of no living survivors from the North Tower who were above the 92nd floor at the moment of impact, we can declare Thierry dead.

Thierry’s wife, Delphine was given permission to remarry as well as all of the 9-11 agunot. Some of the cases were more difficult but the rabbis found leniencies in every case.

As I was learning these responsa related to the 9/11 agunot, I found myself comparing them to the many agunot responsa throughout Jewish History, where Jewish men have been killed or disappeared without sufficient evidence and rabbinic authorities deal with whether or not the wives are agunot. These case occured during the crusades, during the Spanish Inquisition (men disappeared into the Inquisition Jails never to be heard from again), and of course the Holocaust. The major difference between all the other cases and the 9/11 agunot is as follows.

In all the other cases, the husbands were targeted for one reason and one reason only, they were Jews. However, in this case, while it is true that Jews died on 9/11, they were not targeted becasue they were Jews. They were targeted because they were Americans, or living and working in America. They were targeted because of everything that America stands for; Freedom, Democracy and all the values that we cherish.

This is true about every ethnicity and group that lost members during 9/11. While it is true that African Americans were killed during 9/11, they were not targeted because they were Black but because they were American. Everyone was killed; Jews, Christians, Buddhists, even Muslims. Rich, Poor, Black, White. All of us Americans. All of the classifications that usually divide us did not matter to the Terrorists.

I think this understanding that 9/11 transcended any of those divisions was deeply felt right after 9/11. This is why everyone wanted to help their fellow American. There was a sense of Unity. A sense of helping out my neighbor regardless of where he or she comes from.

I remember the first time Sarah and I visited Ground Zero in the summer of 2002. All we could think of were the majestic towers that once were there and what was in their place? A deep dark pit of death. I had one thought. This is a mass grave. As Jews were are unfortunately too familiar with Mass Graves. You can go and visit them all over Europe. But this is different. This is a mass grave of all peoples. All religious, all ethnicities. There is no Jewish or Christian section of Ground Zero, everyone is one.

I remember asking myself, can any light come out of this deep dark pit of destruction? I think the only light might be if we remember how much they hate us and we ask ourselves, “do we love each other as much as they hate us.” They spent months and maybe years scheming and planning to destroy. Do we spend time trying to build. They worked so hard on hurting and killing, do we spend equal amount of time on healing and sustaining? Maybe, the one light that can come out of 9/11 would be if we try to love each other as much as they hate us.

I would just like to conclude with Thierry Saada and his wife Delphine. The following triibute was written about him in the New York Times a few months after 9/11 and I am going to read parts of it.

When Thierry Saada came to New York in 1999 from Paris, he sublet Delphine Zana's apartment through mutual friends in the Sephardic Jewish community. Both their families were originally from Tunisia, but moved to France after Tunisian independence. Mr. Saada was tall, handsome, and "sportif," she said, and they fell in love.

Last November, they married, and Mrs. Saada became pregnant. Mr. Saada was so excited he played Tunisian music and sacred Sephardic melodies for his unborn child, and he would "talk to my bellybutton," she said. Mrs. Saada was scared about the delivery, but "he said we would be together, that he would push with me."

On Sept. 11, Mr. Saada, 26, a trader at Cantor Fitzgerald, was on the 104th floor of 1 World Trade Center. The baby was due on Sept. 16, but Mrs. Saada did not go into labor. "I was hoping he would come back," she said. In the end, the labor was induced, and on Sept. 27, their son, Lior ‹ "my light" in Hebrew ‹ was born, with Mrs. Saada's mother, Dolly, and sister-in-law, Carole, at her side.

After everything that Delphine went through she had her Little Light, her Lior to remember her husband.

I think we all have a little light, our own lior, to take out of 9/11. It is that is to try to revive that sense of unity and mutual caring that occurred right after 9/11. And if we do our part, May HaKadosh Baruch Hu, May G-d do his part and grant this amazing country peace, safety and security and spare it further sorrow for many years to come.