Saturday, October 3, 2015

In Memory of Rabbi Eitam and Na'ama Henkin Z"l - Shabbat Chol Hamoed 5776

Thursday started of as a wonderful day. I picked up my parents from the airport and then went to the Early Childhood Center Sukkah Party. I had a chance to shake the Lulav and Etrog with all of the kids and I was truly feeling a sense of Simchat Hachag (Holiday Joy) despite all of the rain.


I then went to my office and checked the news and I found out about two horrific events, one in Oregon and one in Israel. The first was yet another shooting at a University. When will this end?


The second was the brutal murder of Eitam and Na’ama Henkin. An act committed by Palestinian Terrorists right in front of their 4 children (Matan Hillel 9, Nitzan Yitzchak 7, Neta Eliezer 4 and
Itamar, 4 months old).


The attack in Israel has particularly consumed me. Maybe it is because Eitam was a young rabbi like me, Na’ama an artist, his children are roughly the age of my children. Also, Eitam’s mother is Rabbanit Chana Henkin, the founder of Nishmat. Rabbanit Henkin was here as a scholar in residence a few years ago speaking from this pulpit.


The funeral was on Friday at 11 am. Afterwards a number of clips from the funeral were put online. One clip was of 9 year old Matan saying Kaddish at the funeral. I don’t know why I do this to myself, but I kept listening to Matan’s kaddish over and over again on Friday. As I listened to his Kaddish, I kept thinking of a few questions.


How can we celebrate the rest of Sukkot, Zman Simchateinu, the time when we are supposed to be happy and at the same time hear Matan’s Kaddish?


How can we think of the pain and grief of Rabbanit Chanah and Rabbi Yehuda Herzl (Eitam’s father) and say today in Hallel, זה היום עשה ה’ נגילה ונשמחה בו - “This is the day that G-d has made let us sing and rejoice on it.”


How can we think of the hole in the hearts of Chanan and Hila (Na’ama’s Parents) and say אודך כי עניתני - “Thank you Hashem for answering me.” Were their prayers answered?


How can we pick up the Lulav and Etrog which represents all of our Blessings in life and say הודו לד’ כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו - “Thanks you Hashem, your Kindness is with us always.”


In short, how can we, on the one hand, think about Eitam and Na’ama, and on the other hand experience the joy of Sukkot?


These questions can never really be answered but I would like to teach some of the Torah of Rabbi Eitam Henkin and show you some of the art of Na’ama. I hope that this will help us to at least begin thinking of these issues.


Rabbi Eitam, despite his young age, was very prolific. He already published a number of books (both on Halacha and Academic studies) and many articles that are available online that I have been reading over the last 2 days. Rabbi Eitam also has a number of audio classes online and on Erev Shabbat, I was listening to his classes. There is something very sad but also very powerful about listening to someone who has just been killed. I think that learning his Torah is a way to keep his flame going so I will present some of his Torah now.


The essay that I would like to focus on is all about the bracha of Shehechiyanu. Whenever we perform a mitzvah which is only done during one time period a year, we say Shehechiyanu (“Thank you Hashem for bringing us to this moment”). We say Shehechiyanu when we blow the shofar, when we sit in sukkah, shake the lulav, have the seder and many other mitzvot. There is one exception. There is one mitzvah where we do not say Shehechiyanu. What is it? It is the counting of the Omer. Rabbi Eitam has an article exploring why is it that we do not say Shehichiyanu for the counting of the Omer. Rabbi Eitam first quotes Rabbi Zerachya Halevi (12th century Provence) who explains that we don’t say Shehichiyanu because nowadays we only count the Omer to remember the destruction of the Temple. We remember what the Omer sacrifice was like in the Temple. This doesn’t lead one to happiness but to sadness and sorrow. Therefore we do not say Shehechiyanu.


Rabbi Eitam had the following question. According to this logic, there is another Mitzvah where we should not say Shehechiyanu. The mitzvah of Lulav and Etrog, according to the Torah is only performed all 7 days of Sukkot in the Temple. Outside of the Temple, the Lulav is only taken on the first day. Why then do we take the Lulav all seven days? The same reason as the Omer. Zecher L’churban. To remember the destruction. To remember what was. What sukkot was like in the Temple. If that is the case then just as we do not make Shehechiyanu on the Omer we should not make it on the Lulav (especially if for whatever reason, the first time we take the Lulav is on day #2). Rabbi Eitam answers in the following way (without getting into the details). He says that there is a major difference between the Omer and Lulav. All 49 says of counting the Omer are only to remember the destruction. They are all sad. Therefore we do not say Shehechiyanu. However, when it comes to Lulav even though days 2 - 7 have an element of sadness but there is still day #1. Day #1 is pure joy and thanksgiving. We therefore say Shehechiyanu. Even if 6 out of the 7 days are sad but if there is even one day (or one aspect) of happiness, we say shehichiyanu. This is a very important lesson that can be generalised to many aspects of life.


This teaching of Rabbi Eitam reminds me of a beautiful insight of Rav Amital (the Rosh Hayeshiva of Yeshivat Har Etzion who died a few years ago). Rav Amital was apparently asked by his students the following. Why do we say Shehichiyanu on Yom Ha’atzmaut. After all, the celebration is not complete. It is only Reishit Tzmichat Geulateinu (“The beginning of the flowering of redemption”). There is still war, terror, poverty and so many other problems. So how can we say Shehechiyanu if the joy is not complete? Rav Amital answered that we do not only say Shehichiyanu when the joy is complete. If we only said Shehechiyanu when the joy is 100% then we would never say Shehechiyanu. Who goes into their sukkah and doesn’t think about who is no longer there? Who picks up their lulav and etrog and doesn’t think about the struggles of life? Joy is never complete but yet we must say Shehechiyanu.


This is lesson #1 that we learn from Rabbi Eitam. The second lesson comes from a piece of artwork from Na’ama. But first I want to share a thought about Kohelet (the book that we are about to read) which relates to Na’ama’s art. Last night, I read the book of Kohelet. It is the most depressing book ever! The basic idea of the book is that life is meaningless. All of the problems in life will not be solved. There is nothing new under the sun.
Why would Shlomo write such a book. Is this really what Judaism believes?
I heard a beautiful interpretation. King Shlomo wrote this book from the perspective of someone else. Someone who he was not but was always worried that he could become. The word that repeats itself over and over again is the word “Ani” - I. Everything is in first person singular. “I thought to do this.” “I tried that…” אני אני אני - I, I, I. The word that is missing is אנחנו (“we”). There is no “we,” no family, no community and no nation. If there is only “I” if everything is about my life then everything is Hevel (meaningless). There is no purpose in accomplishing everything because at the end we will die and go to the same place as the animals. There is no legacy. No family to sacrifice for. No community to serve. No Nation to live or die for. Everything is truly meaningless. Na’ama’s artwork that she made this year for sukkot (and is now all around Israel as her parents asked people to put it up in their sukkot) is a depiction of the beautiful midrash that describes the 4 species as representing the 4 types of jews who are all brought together in the Sukkah. This is the אנחנו - this is the “we.” This is the “nation.”


Yesterday at the funeral, Rabbanit Chana (Eitam’s mother) said that we will raise the children in the same way that Na’ama and Eitam would have raised them. This is “we.”
Thousands came to the funeral. This is community.
The many chayalim are spending their shabbat searching for the terrorists to do their best to make sure other Israelis are safe. This is “Am” - peoplehood.


This is Na’ama’s art. Na’ama and Eitam’s lessons for all of us. Eitam taught us that we have to say the Shehechiyanu even when things are mostly sad if we can just find that one aspect of joy. Na’ama taught us that this might be possible through appreciating the blessing of family, friends, community and peoplehood.
This might be the key to recapture at least some simcha (joy) during this difficult time.


I opened by talking about Matan’s kaddish at the funeral. I would like to conclude by noting the prayer that will be said by Chana and Hila (mothers of Eitam and Na’ama) tomorrow night as Shmini Atzeret / Simchat Torah begins. Chana and Hila will light the Yom Tov candles. Then they will close their eyes and like mothers all around the world, they will pray for their families. G-d only knows how difficult this will be and what they will pray for. But I do know that then they will open their eyes. They will see the lights (which represent so much) and then they will say the bracha Lehadlik Ner shel Yom Tov (Kindling the Yom Tov candles). Then, as difficult as it will be, they will say Shehechiyanu, Vikiyimanu, Vihigiyanu Lazman Hazeh (Thank you for bringing us to this time). This year it will feel like a lie. The words will come out with much difficulty. But they will keep on saying them at every holiday and eventually there will be some joy. Those kids will grow up. They will have Bar Mitzvah, graduations and other celebrations. They will eventually grow up and learn their father’s books and be inspired by their mother’s artwork and while they will be sad not to have them, they will take great pleasure and pride in the amazing parents that they had.
This will all be possible because of the “Anachnu.” This will all be possible because of the community. This will all be possible because of the Shehechiyanu.
May Hashem look down at this beautiful family that has suffered so much and bring them and all of Clal Yisrael consolation.

No comments: