Yom Kippur Sermon 5770

As humans, we really have two very different selves. There is the outside me, the self that I present to the world. The things I say and the things I do all my actions and deeds. This self is completely open and observable to anyone who pays attention.

Then there is the second self which is the inside self; my thoughts, my emotions, my feelings my inner struggles. This second self is completely hidden from the world. This inside self certainly has aspects which are good and noble but there are probably also parts of it that are negative and maybe even a little ugly and we are pleased that nobody can see them. We are full of resentments, anger, envy, jealousy and the list goes on and on.

Question: With regards to these negative inner emotions or thoughts, if I keep them inside, if they never manifest themselves in negative words or behavior, If they remain “sins of the heart” and never the leave the heart, Have I sinned? According to Judaism, are sins of the heart considered sins?

What we are going to do in order to answer this question if first, look at the Torah and then look at the Yom Kippur liturgy to answer this question which is so important on Yom Kippur as we have to know if we must do Teshuva on sins of the heart.

First lets look at the Torah. Example #1: The Torah teaches us in the final of the 10 commandments, לא תחמוד ...וכל אשר לרעך do not covet … everything you’re your friend owns.
The straightforward understanding of this text would be that the Torah recognizes sins of the heart and considers them to be a sin. The Torah seems to be telling us that even if the feeling of jealousy remains inside, it is still a sin. However, Maimonides based on the Talmud teaches us that as long as the feeling of jealousy remains inside, does not translate into action, it is not a sin. In order to violate this prohibition one must take the jealous feeling into action and actually pressure your friend into selling the object to you. So we see that Halakha does not legislate emotions. It does not consider a sin of the heart to be a sin.

Example #2 where the Torah seems to be forbidding an emotion. Vayikra 19:17 – לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך do not hate your brother in your heart. Where is the hatred? It is in the heart. Once again, the straightforward reading of the Torah seems to legislate emotions. It seems to tell us that we cannot have hatred even if it remains in the heart.

But once again the rabbis connect this prohibition to an action. They connect the above line with the next line, הוכח תוכח את עמיתך which means rebuke your friend. What is the connection between hating and rebuking? Our rabbis teach us that if someone harms you, you must rebuke the person because if you pretend that is everything is ok, you will come to hate him in your heart. In other words, the Torah is not legislating emotions. It cannot tell us that we cannot hate someone for hate is an emotion. However, the Torah can tell us that we must confront our friend if we fell they have harmed us because if we do not, it will lead to hatred in the heart.

The above two examples show that while the straightforward reading of the Torah might indicate that there are sins of the heart, the overwhelming thrust of rabbinic thought comes down strongly on the side that the torah does not prohibit thoughts, only actions.
It is therefore somewhat surprising when we read one of the על חטא 's that deals with this topic. ע"ח שחטאנו לפניך בהרהור הלב – on the sin that we have committed before you through thoughts of the heart, through sins of the heart. The question is obvious. If, halacha does not legislate emotions, if the realm of jewish law is deed and not thought, then why are clapping על חטא for sins of the heart?

And in order to strengthen the question, let us look at a very strong statement from Yoma 29a
הרהורי עבירה קשין מעבירה – thoughts of sin are worse than sin itself. How can this be? If we have established that Judaism does not legislate emotions only actions, then how can the emotion of feeling of sin be worse than the sin itself. And if sins of the heart are not sins, then why are we asked to do teshuva on them?

In order to answer the question, I would like to turn to one of the most important books ever written on the topic of Teshuva, and it is not even a Jewish book; The Alcoholics Anonymous Blue book, commonly referred to as the Big Book. I have a brother who works in an Addiction Clinic in Florida and he is doing amazing work running addiction support groups. The famous 12 step program is based in the Big Book and I often discuss with my brother the similarities between the teachings of AA and Jewish teachings. These comparisons are very important especially on Yom Kippur as we are involved in our own teshuva process and those of you who anything about addiction recovery know that it is all about Teshuva.

In the big Book, we are told that when it comes to addiction, “liquor is but the symptom, so we had to get down to the causes and conditions.”
What are the causes and conditions if not the drinking itself? The Big Book goes on to enumerate them. “Resentment is the #1 offender.”
The Big Book list goes on. We were selfish, dishonest with ourselves, self-seeking, selfish, full of fear and full of blaming others.

What is remarkable about this list is that all of these sins are sins of the heart. The underlying sin isn’t the drinking. It isn’t the lying that an addict does to his friends and families. It isn’t the stealing to get more alcohol or drugs. All of those things are actions and as awful as they are, they are just the symptoms. The causes and conditions are all of the sins of the heart.

This amazing teaching from the Big Book can help us answer the question that we posed before. We had a contradiction. On the one hand, Judaism teaches us that we are not legally responsible (we cannot be punished), for sins of the heart. But then we find in the Yom Kippur Vidui that we must do Teshuva for sins of the heart.

The answer is obvious. In Judaism, sins of the heart are not sins but they are the causes and conditions which lead to sin. The sin itself, the actual bad deed is only the symptom. The disease is internal. The disease is in the mind, heart or soul.
S
o as we are engaging in our process of Teshuva this Yom Kippur let us not lose the forest in the trees. True, we must look at individual particular sins and figure out how to stop doing them but we must also ask the deeper question. What kinds of sins are in my heart that case theses sins of action. To take one example, we will confess the sin of Lashon Hara and we definitely need to work on stopping this. But the more important question that we need to ask is, “what kind of person am I, on the inside, that I would sit around fro a ½ hour gossiping about another persons.”

This process could be painful but it is also full of joy. When you speak to someone who is a recovering addict, someone who has really done teshuva, they have a certain sense of joy and they will tell you something amazing. They say that the best thing that happened to them was their drug use. Because the drug use was just the symptom of a disease that they already had. And it was only because the symtoms got so bad that they had to address the disease. And now they are better off than they were before the drug use. There is something very promising and joyful about the possibility of teshuva and this reminds me of a story that I would like to conclude with.

The Holy Baal Shem Tov was once traveling before Yom Kippur and he was not going to be able to make it home for Yom Kippur. So he stopped in a small Jewish town and he asked some of the townspeople, who will be the Chazan for Yom Kippur Davening. The townspeople responded that the Rabbi of the town leads the davening. The Baal Shem Tov asked if the rabbi does anything special during the davening and the people said, that when he reads the Vidui, the confessions, he does it with very joyous niggunim (songs). The Baal Shem Tov thought that this was a little bizarre so he asked them to call the rebbe to come and see him. When the rabbi arrived, the Baal Shem tov asked, why do you sing the Vidui with such happy songs. The rabbi responded as follows. When I clean my house, it is difficult work. I have to bend down on my hands and knees and scrub and sometimes I uncover things that aren’t so nice, but there is a sense of joy because I know that when I am done cleaning, my house will be clean. So when I clean the house, I usually hum a joyous tune. If that is true about my physical house, how much more so when I am cleaning my spiritual house, my soul. When I am done with the Confession, my seal will be clean. My soul will be pure and ready to connect with G-d and that is why I am full of joy and I sing happy tunes. When the Baal shem tov heard this, he said, we are staying here in this town for Yom Kippur. I would like this rabbi to lead the davening for me.

Doing Teshuva, confessing, being truly honest with ourselves, trying to address not only the symptoms but the root cause of the disease, this isn’t easy work. It is difficult. But what an amazing opportunity that we are all given once a year. And this is why we should approach it with a sense of happiness. A sense of joy because we can clean our spiritual house. We can become spiritually healthy. And in that merit, may we all be blessed to be inscribed and sealed in the book of life. For a year of health, prosperity, peace and only good things for ourselves, our families, the jewish people and all of the inhabitants of this world.

Rosh Hashana Sermon 5770 - "The Best Version of Yourself"

Mr. Goldberg, a Middle Aged overweight man, visits his doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor tells him, “You’re not doing too well. Your cholesterol level is high and you have gained 10 pounds since the last time I saw you.” To this Mr. Goldberg says, “Doctor, I don't understand this. My wife and I joined a nice upscale gym last year, we pay the dues and we have even paid our building fund assessment in full.” The doctor turns to him and says, “It is not enough to belong to the gym, you actually have to use it. Do you ever go to the gym?” Mr. Goldberg responds, “Sure, I go all of the time. You see, they have these great Kids exercise programs and we drop the kids off every Sunday morning, the cafe also has great food and the smoothies are delicious, and I love the music that they play during the exercise classes, so I like to poke my head into the last few minutes of the exercise class. And doctor, could you believe it, after all the time, I spend in the gym, my health isn't getting better?”

Now Mr. Goldberg was having his annual physical checkup. We are all here today on Rosh Hashana to have our annual spiritual checkup. And many of us are probably wondering why our Judaism is not as strong as it could be. We pay our synagogue dues, we invest 20 – 60 K in our children's day school education, we come to shul on shabbat and for other programs, but something is missing.

And the answer is the same answer that we would all give to Mr. Goldberg. If you want to be in good physical shape, you have to put in the hours doing exercise. You have to sweat and work hard. Spiritual health is the same. We have to put in the hours, we have to sweat we have to work hard in order to see results.

In Judaism, there are a number of different paths, a number of different ways to work on our spiritual health. There is davening, studying torah, acts of chesed, But the path that I would like to focus on this morning is the Path of Mussar.

What is Mussar? Mussar is beautifully describes by a contemporary student of Mussar, Dr. Alan Morinis in the following way (I have slightly adapted this definition):
We all have our actual selfs and our ideal selfs. The actual self is the person I am right now, with all my moral failings and shortcomings. The ideal self is the version of you that you would like to become, the best version of yourself. Mussar is the path to get from your actual self – to your ideal self. It is the path that allows you to become the best version of yourself. It doesn’t lead to perfection, but it can get you closer to your perfect self.

Before I explain how mussar can help you become the best version of yourself, I would like to set down some of the history of the Mussar Movement. While the texts utilized by the Mussar Movement are ancient, the Mussar Movement as a movement is only about 150 years old. In the 1850's Judaism was going through lots of turmoil. Traditional Judaism confronted the Haskalah, the Nascent Reform Movement, Secular Zionism and all of the other isms that were forming in the 19th century. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, the founder of the Mussar Movement, discovered that as a result of all of this, there were many jews who were jewishly knowledgeable but leaving the life of mitzvah observance.

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter therefore founded the mussar movement to encourage people to work on their character and development.

Something very interesting happened in the development of the mussar movement. When Rabbi Yisrael Salanter first proposed the study of mussar, his intended audience was not the yeshiva students but the general population. He proposed the creation of a mussar shtibl, a room for people to gather on shabbat afternoon in groups and “In the quiet of reflection, in reasonable deliberation, each will strengthen his fellow and cure the foolishness of his heart and eliminate his lazy habits. It was on Shabbat afternoon because this is when working jews would have the time to do mussar.

However, Rabbi Salanter failed. He was not able to get the average Jew to take on the path of mussar. It was too difficult. So he changed his focus. The study of Mussar moved away from the synagogue and the common folk, to the Yeshiva and the Yeshiva students. It was believed that only the yeshiva students had the time and spiritual will to perfect their middot, their soul-traits. And from the 1860 on, Mussar was primarily something that only was studied by yeshiva students.

Why am I giving you all of this history? Because an interesting twist has happened. In the last 10 years, there has been a renaissance of the study of mussar, not only by yeshiva students, but by all Jews. One observer of the contemporary Jewish spiritual scene, referred to Mussar as the “New Kabbalah.” (I am not confident that we will soon see Madonna learning mussar, but it is becoming more and more popular amongst jews who are discovering its spiritual power and potential for self-transformation).

So now that I have given you some of the historical background, I would like to explain how mussar works and why I believe it is so important that I am dedicating my Rosh Hashana sermon to it.

I already mentioned that Mussar is the path from one's actual self to one's ideal self. It is the path that leads to the best version of yourself. But how does it get us there?
Let me explain this by introducing two Mussar Terms, #1 – Tikkun Ha-Midot and #2 – Cheshbon Hanefesh. Tikkun Ha-Middot means to fix the traits of the soul. Soul traits. What are these traits (middot)? They include things like, patience, humility, equanimity, generosity, compassion, gratitude. Tikkun HaMidot simply means improving these traits. So if your ideal version of yourself is more generous or if your ideal self would not get frustrated as much or have more patience, or be more satisfied with your lot, Mussar is the path for you. How does it work? That leads us to our second term, Cheshbon Hanefesh, which is a method of keeping track and working on your traits. There are many different approaches to Cheshbon Hanefesh. Some require keeping a journal, others require forming a mussar vaad, which is a group of people who work together on their traits and there are many more tools which I would like to explore with you this year as I hope some of you will join me in creating a mussar vaad so that we can help each other become the best version of ourselves.

We are about to begin Mussaf of Rosh Hashana, one of the most powerful tefilot of the year. The mussaf has three themes; Kingship, Remembrance, and Shofar blasts. In the middle section of Rememberance we declare, “Everything is revealed before G-d.. everyone's deeds, accomplishments, thoughts, schemes and motives.” So when we say that G-d remembers, this means more than the fact that G-d does not forget. It means that G-d penetrates into the depths of our minds and souls and judges us. We can fool others, we can even fool ourselves, but we cannot fool G-d. Perhaps we can take G-d's penetrating insight and use it as a mirror so that we can see into our own minds and souls. For one day a year, we can be honest with ourselves. Who are we? What do we need to become? I therefore encourage us all during mussaf, especially during the zichronot section to do the first step of mussar, which is to become a little more self-aware. What is our ideal self, and where are we holding right now. Because the first step in closing that gap is becoming aware that the gap exists. And I would like to suggest that during mussaf we come up with one Middah, one trait, that we would like to work on this year. So next year, when we come back for our annual spiritual checkup we will we healthier. We will be closer to our ideal self, to the best version of ourselves.

I would like to conclude with two stories about Rav Yisrael Salanter that illustrate two of his wonderful traits and what the path of Mussar can do for you.
Story #1 - When Rav Yisrael was trying to spread the mussar movement he realized that nobody in Lithuania would take his seriously unless they knew that he was a Talmid Chacham. So he went from town to town delivering amazing lectures on complex talmudic topics. He was once in a town and he was going to give a shiur on shabbat afternoon. On Wednesday, he posted a sheet of 50 Maareh mekomos (listing of 50 sources) on the bulletin board so people could prepare for the lecture. There were some troublemakers in the town and they decided to do a prank and they removed Rav Yisrael's list and replaced it with a different source sheet of 50 other sources. On Shabbos afternoon Rav Yisrael arrives, the beit midrash is packed, and he goes up to the bimah and asks the Gabai to bring him the list of sources. He gets the list and his face turns white. He sits down for 10 minutes and everyone is waiting. Finally he gets up and gives a brilliant lecture based on the new sources which he had not prepared. In a moment of candor, he explained to his students why he waited 10 minutes. It wasnt because he needed 10 minutes to prepare the lecture. He could have done it right away. But he had an internal battle going on. Should he give the class with new sources and risk displaying his genius and compromise his desire to be a humble person. But on the other hand, if he would admit defeat, he would look like an Am Haaretz (ignoramus) and it would compromise his ability to spread the mussar movement. This story is an amazing illustration of Rav Yisrael's humility and how self aware he was and this of course was because of mussar.

Story #2 – When Rav Yisrael was a Rosh Hayeshiva he was once visiting the wealthiest jew in town to collect money. The Jew invites him in and invites him to join him for dinner. Both the Rich Man and Rav Yisrael go to wash their hands netilat yadayim, and the rich man notices that Rav Yisrael only washes his hand up until the knuckles and not until the wrist which is the preferred way to wash one's hands. After they make Hamotzie, the rich man turns to Rav Yisrael and says, “If I can be so bold let me ask you a question. You know that I am very wealthy and that I lack nothing so why were you being so stingy with the water? Rav Yisrael responds, it is true that it is halakhically preferable to wash until the wrist and when I am home and using the water that I drew from the well, I wash until the wrist. But now that I am in your house and I know that the maid had to shlep the water from the well, I am not going to be machmir on Netilas Yadayim on the shoulders of the maid.” She is the one who will have to do more work, for my chumrah.” This story beautifully illustrates the middah of compassion. Not many of us would have been thinking about the maid in that situation.

We are probably never going to have as much humility and compassion as Rav Yisrael, but through mussar, we can become the best versions of ourselves. And if we commit to working on ourselves this year, then I am willing to guarantee that next year Rosh Hoshana, at our next annual spiritual check up, we will be healthier than we are this year, we will be closer to the best version of ourself. And in that merit, may we all be inscribed in the book of life for a year of prosperity, a year when only good things happen to us and our families. A year of physical health and a year of spiritual health. Shana Tova.